ACTIVE LISTENING

Listening... Truly listening. An art that seems to be long forgotten.

In today's day and age, people listen. But not to connect. People listen to hear when your words stop, so they can continue their train of thought. It seems that nobody truly remembers how to actively listen to other people, in order to understand the meaning behind the words and the feeling that puts the words spoken into one's mouth.

"Listening is not the act of hearing the words spoken. It's the art of understanding the meaning behind those words."

- William Ury

It Takes Two.

Information. Perhaps the most important factor in human civilization. So important, in fact, that we named an entire age after it. Information can only be transferred by clear communication, and communication only works in pairs. It takes a Sender, and a Receiver. Without the Sender, the Receiver has nothing to listen to, but without the Receiver, the Sender will never be heard. When you translate this to human connection and conversation, you need someone who talks and someone who listens. Yet in this day and age, we are all so eager to play the Sender, the talker, that we forget about the Receiver, the listener.
William Ury, American author, academic, anthropologist, and negotiation expert, has released multiple books on negotiation and how important the art of listening is in this field of work. He goes so far as to say that negotiation has very little to do with talking and is, in fact, all about listening. To be a successful negotiator, you will need to be a successful and skilled listener.
According to William Ury, Active Listening is important for three simple reasons:

1. It makes you understand the Sender's perspective;
2. It helps the Sender to feel heard and build trust and a connection;
3. It makes the Sender more eager to turn into the Receiver, once they have "emptied their bucket";

Understanding the Sender's perspective and realising where they are coming from and why they take on that particular perspective is crucial in conversation. It gives you the ability to dig deeper into their train of thought and ask genuinely-interested questions that make the Sender feel heard. This, in turn, will make the Sender trust you, as they realise you are actually trying to understand what they are trying to convey. And once they have a feeling that they have been able to get their point across, they will be more willing to listen to what you have to say.

Listening Can Change The World.

There are many authors, public-speakers and experts in the field who talk about listening. Their techniques may vary, but all of them seem to agree on one thing. If we all would learn how to listen, if we were to start teaching Active Listening in schools, starting from a young age. The world would be a much more understanding and peaceful place. We would not be able to eradicate all conflict, but certainly dial down the numbers. Therefore, I want to play my part. That is why I started this project.